Except I’m a teacher in the summer and every day is Saturday for me right now, and it’s GREAT. I don’t even know what day it is most of the time.
I’ve been feeling a bit like the monkey with its hands over its eyes emoji overtime I post, but I guess that’s just par for the course…
On to the vulnerability…
Lets talk about compartmentalizing. I am the world’s BEST compartmentalizer. If I don’t want to deal with it, I don’t. Granted, sometimes this can be good, but most of them time, it’s not.
If you’re familiar with the enneagram (nine interconnected personality types), I am a 7. The enthusiast. I don’t do well with negative emotions. Like I REFUSE to even watch any type of sad movie. My heart just can’t handle it. Sevens stay busy and are always ready for the next adventure, but often times, it’s to avoid experiencing any type of pain. When I get sad, I stay sad for a LONG time.
When I was little, my parents took me to see the Titanic along with my favorite stuffed animal to cover my eyes with during the scandalous parts, of course. I cried for HOURS and was sad for weeks because I made the connection that all of those people really did die way back in 1912. I did the same thing with Pearl Harbor. My heart and mind just can’t take all the sadness. I guess it could be called an empath too?
Anyway, I naturally don’t deal with things like I should. I am really good at just pushing things way back into the corners of my mind and choosing not to think about them. I can go on for weeks, even months, like that.
However, over my past two years of healing and growing, I’ve gotten better about this. I’ve learned that to truly heal, I have to feel the pain. I have to ride that wave. As bad as it hurts, pain and sadness demand to be felt. I’ve learned that it’s a whole lot easier to feel it as it comes than to experience the pain of all the things I’ve suppressed at once.
My personal yoga practice and meditation have made a world of difference in helping me move through sadness and pain instead of pushing it away. It will always catch up with you. ALWAYS. and usually, it’s 20x worse.
As always, thank you for reading my rambles. I hope it’s something you can connect with and take something from. I truly love you all.